“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” Henry Ford
The terms “self-care” and “me-time” seem to be all the more common these days. They can imply that we should be selfish and set aside chunks of our time just to focus on ourselves. Is that realistic? Does it not then become yet another burden or stress or something else we feel we need to achieve which kind of negates the point!
With a bit of practice of self-awareness, I believe that self-care can become just as much part of your everyday as eating, breathing and sleeping. Now, I’m not a psychologist but I am a teacher and I can tell you that I have seen first hand the power of a well-timed and genuine “I believe in you” or “Have another try.” The trick, I have found is learning to say these things to ourselves.
Self-talk is a powerful thing; it’s there whether we are conscious of it or not. Journaling is one way of increasing our awareness – I don’t mean writing reams and reams but choose one particular time of day and be curious just notice: How are you feeling? What thoughts do you notice? Where are you now, where have you been, what’s next in your day? Doing this over a few consecutive days will give you the opportunity to recognise patterns in your self-talk.
Thoughts are like clouds – they will pass on by; we can choose to notice them or let them float on by. It’s the repetitive negative ones that we want to catch and train into thoughts that serve us well – again this takes practice but choose one at a time and keep re-framing it until it becomes a habit.
|Instead of thinking this …||Try thinking this …|
|“I am never going to be able to do that.”
|“this is going to be a challenge”
|“I always get this kind of thing wrong.”
|“how could I approach this differently this time?”
|“That’s not going to work”||“I wonder how this might turn out?”|
Are your goals realistic? Visit our goal setting blog for more help with this!
We also have lifestyle coaching available at tfd therapy which can help unlock your positive self-talk and mindset – email email@example.com for more information.